Identity Disturbance

There’s a wonderfully apt quote from Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar that, I believe, summarizes completely my issues with identity disturbance. In Plath’s analogy, all of life’s possible choices are represented by fat, purple figs hanging from a green fig tree. Each fig represents a different possible option for Plath’s future – an editor, a … More Identity Disturbance

Fleeing From France

Last post, I foreshadowed how my BPD would come to catch up with me on my escape abroad to try and hide from its effects on me and my life.  As my job at BCBG got more and more stressful as my responsibilities grew, there was one particular violation that pushed me over the edge … More Fleeing From France

Fleeing For France

At the end of a two-year string of unpaid internships in the journalism and communications industry in Toronto, a colleague of mine at Fashion Television got me an interview.  The job was a yearlong contract in social media for one of Canada’s largest fashion retailers.  I thought, “This is it!  Finally!  Networking is happening for … More Fleeing For France

Self Sabotage

Do you get in your own way the way I do?  I can see opportunities flowering all around me, and yet I cannot grasp a single one in my hands.  They fall through my fingers, one by one, like trying to hold onto water droplets. I’m having trouble being okay with being on disability and … More Self Sabotage

Seeking Validation

Yesterday, I wrote about the neglect, abuse and abandonment I faced in my childhood from my parents – specifically my mother – and how that exacerbated my BPD symptoms.  Today, I want to expand on how that treatment led me to seek validation, support and love from any other source that would have me. I … More Seeking Validation